There is no shortage of questions being asked about how to balance motherhood and career. Effective communication skills help us to lead our teams at work and home with less stress. The first mindset when it comes to your family is this. You can’t go wrong. You can’t mess them up. Take the fear of messing your kids up out of your mind because the fact that you have that concern tells me you are a woman who cares about her family and her offspring.
You #1 goal is to give them unconditional love. That means the love you give them has to be without any conditions. Not when they get good grades, return your calls instantly, date your person of choice, or do what you feel they should do. They must get it because they deserve it. And they deserve it because of who they are and not what they do.
I will tell you it is hard to do this until you get to a place where you are able to believe that this same unconditional love is something you also deserve. For far too long, many women have been conditioned to feel appreciated, respected, valued, seen and heard with conditions. The conditions were because of your achievements, your ability to cook, clean, take care of the home, look and dress and act a certain way, climb the way to corporate or business success, but I am here to tell you that the way to receive this gift is to first give this unconditional love to yourself. I promise, from here on, everything else that you send loving energy and care to becomes easier.
How do I know when you are at that place of unconditional love?
Our inner world is reflected in our outer world. All I need to do is to look at your language, your behavior, your actions, your partnerships, the way you extend grace to others, and the way you stand up for others because those are the indicators that you are able to do the same for yourself. It’s a ripple effect.
To the contrary, what this typically looks like in real time is that you feel afraid to speak up for yourself, or maintain focus. You often feel stuck and the fear of taking action stifles you, so procrastination, which is the cousin of perfectionism, becomes your best friend. You lean heavily on credentials, certifications and material status to prove that you do love yourself, but deep down inside, you are deathly afraid of looking foolish or coming across as though you don’t know what you are doing or talking about.
You may feel this way at work, and so the same feeling transfers to your home life where the guilt of not being enough, and doing enough piles on.
If you have felt this way, I have amazing news for you. Even if your self-esteem and value has been in a place of liquid concrete for years and just knowing where to start seems impossible, with the power of intention, you can transform the way you view yourself, and your life.
Improve Communication Skills in Public Speaking
There is a myth that women often tell me and that is that they will use public speaking once and for all to build their confidence. What you don’t realize is that the tactical work is easy, but the transformative work is hard. Let me explain.
One of my clients wanted to improve her public speaking skills. We extracted stories but her behavior demonstrated that she was not showing up for herself. She would take care of everyone else but when the time came for the things she wanted for herself, she would put herself last. She would not show up for meetings on time, she would not do the work and put in the time required to get the work done, and then beat herself up on why it was not working for her.
This was something she wanted, and had invested heavily in because she knew she wanted to grow. What she didn’t know was that the growth she needed was not in the tactical steps of public speaking, but in the awareness and confidence of being true to herself. Luckily, I saw what was happening and we quickly switched gears to get her stronger in this area before the tactical work could be done.
Tactical Results Are Prescriptive. Transformational Outcomes are Agile.
What this looked like was setting clear boundaries. Honoring and respecting her word. Treating others the way she would want to be treated as a business professional. Learning how to manage her time, flow and energy. Sitting in the wins and celebrations of her success; and as she got stronger and stronger over time, she began to see herself the way I could see her from Day 1…from a place of unconditional love.
She began to challenge herself and set boundaries, speak up and use her voice. Her language, her behavior, and her relationships displayed what it looked like to feel and to be empowered. This calls for celebration!
What we are celebrating is that although she did not know the outcome, she knew within herself, with surety that there was something she wanted to develop and strengthen from within. Her intention led her to public speaking, which led her to powerful self-awareness.
Every journey begins with a single step.
Improving Communication Skills at Home and Work Require the following steps:
- First acknowledge that you need help. Then, seek it.
- Honor the guidance and direction you feel when you think about where you want your life to be.
- Expose yourself to new environments that can amplify your energy. The empowering energy may seem temporary at first because you may not have the tools to sustain it. But that is where you start.
- Listen to perspectives that will help you see things differently.
- Work with a dedicated coach.
- Learn as much as you can about yourself. You are your new project. Learn everything about you; history, likes, dislikes, stories from childhood, genealogy, patterns, decisions you have made, and have a skilled and trusted listener sit with you, listen to you and ask you probing questions.
There is no one size fits all approach. Everyone comes to their awakening moments of self-love through different paths. Like an airplane with multiple routes to a final destination, some routes are longer and shorter than others. What matters is that you have the destination in your mind, and with intention you are moving in the direction of where you want to go.
If you want to get support in the message our team today to book a call.